搞笑英文说说心情短语

1、鸭子本来不会飞，但是煮熟了就会飞了。

11、谁若对我使用美人计，我就会将计就计。

21、时间终究要比爱强悍，忘记什么都不难。

24、大起大悲看清自己，大起大落看清朋友。

26、如果你忘了苏醒，那我宁愿先闭上眼睛。

34、按猪的审美观，我基本算得上是个帅哥。

36、如果有钱也是一种错，我情愿一错再错。

16、美人对眼睛来说是天堂，对腰包来说是地狱！

18、不要以为头上顶坨屎，自己就是金刚葫芦娃。

5、老天，你让夏天和冬天同房了吧？生出这鬼天气！

31、下辈子我还找你，因为除了我，你是最傻的。

32、牛粪终归是牛粪，上锅蒸了也不会变成香饽饽。

42、同是自来水，但就是感觉厨房的比厕所的干净。

44、大叔，笑的时候记得捂嘴巴哦，小心您的假牙。

13、不要说我胖，不然我会认为你在嫉妒我比你吃得好。

19、因为喜欢你，借着你的光，瞧见了从未预见的世界。

23、长成那样，就不要撒娇了吧，容易让人起妊娠反应。

45、大街上那么多人穿的那么危险，却长得那么安全！

49、人生最幸福事，就是早上听老婆说把你爪子拿开！

28、老天，你让夏天和冬天同房了吧？生出这种鬼天气！

50、爱情就像一部影片，影片结束时，所以人都会散去。

2、自从初一那次捡起掉在地下的笔后，数学我就再也没听懂过。

30、小时候吃西瓜，就吃尖尖，吃到有籽的地方就不吃了。

41、少女诚可贵，少妇价更高，若有富婆在，二者皆可抛。

17、有钱的人怕别人知道他有钱，没钱的人怕别人知道他没钱。

27、今天在街上看到一女的好美，走近一看，原来是面镜子。

33、曾经希望把所有都留给你，何曾想却把孤单留给了自己。

40、现在的我，你爱理不理。记住了。以后的我，你高攀不起。

54、世界上最痛苦的事就是，从上课憋尿憋到下课老师还拖堂。

10、原以为自己挺恶的，认识了他才知道比我还善的人几乎不存在。

39、男老板总是希望身旁有个女秘书，有事秘书干，没事干秘书。

25、没有一点点防备，也没有一丝顾虑，国庆就这样完了·

29、我不喜欢只和一个女人上很多次床，而是喜欢和很多女人只上一次床。

38、明明可以靠脸吃饭，而我却要努力工作，这就是我和明明之间的差距。

46、如果坦白是一种伤害，我选择谎言。如果谎言也是伤害，我选择沉默。

53、钱在我的手里一无是处，就像垃圾，但我却用它买到了最卑微的爱情。

7、我只要你陪着我只对我笑，我只要你吻我一个，只逗我一人，我就是不放弃。

15、感谢所有陪我走到现在的人，尤其感谢打算仍然硬着头皮陪我走下去的人。

35、我想将对你的思念，寄予散落的星辰；但愿星光照进你的窗前，伴你好眠。

20、我这么穷，为什么还会发胖呢，不知道这肉咋长的，这个问题困扰了我好多年。

51、路上捡到了一百块钱，很开心的请室友吃了全家桶，最后发现钱是自己掉的。

47、等你以后结婚了，结婚对象不是我，我就搬到你家隔壁住，做一个安静的老王。

14、有一次蹲在地上玩东西，我男神从后面拍了我一下，然后受到惊吓放了个巨响的屁。

9、不管是在婚礼的喜帖上还是在葬礼的墓碑上，我希望我跟你的名字一辈子总能写在一起。

12、如果有一天，我无法继续呼吸，那只是说明，我的世界缺少了空气，或者，缺少了你。

Ducks can't fly, but they can fly when cooked.

Beauty is heaven to the eyes and hell to the purse!

If anyone uses beauty tricks on me, I will count them.

Don't think you're a diamond gourd with shit on your head.

If you forget to wake up, I'd rather close my eyes first.

Everyone who shakes his legs has a sewing machine in his heart.

According to the taste of pigs, I am basically a handsome guy.

Love is like a film. When the film is over, people will disperse.

Because like you, through your light, see the world never foreseen. （踏雪诗词 taxue.net）

Time is stronger than love after all. It's easy to forget everything.

Without any precautions or worries, the National Day is over.·

So many people in the street wear dangerous clothes, but grow so safe!

I seem to be allergic to paper. Every time I do my homework, I feel bad.

Don't say I'm fat, or I'll think you're jealous of me better than you eat.

If money is also a mistake, I would rather make mistakes again and again.

God, have you let summer and winter sleep together? What a hell of weather!

Now I, you do not care. Keep sth. in mind. After me, you can't climb high.

It's also tap water, but it feels cleaner in the kitchen than in the toilet.

God, have you let summer and winter sleep together? It's such a ghostly weather!

Uncle, remember to cover your mouth when you laugh. Watch out for your dentures.

When I was a child, I ate watermelon sharp, but I stopped eating where I had seeds.

I will look for you in the next life, because besides me, you are the most foolish.

One of the happiest sentences in school is that the head teacher is not here today.

The greatest advantage of maturity is that you don't want what you didn't get before.

If you grow up like that, don't be coquettish, it's easy to cause pregnancy reaction.

I don't like to sleep with only one woman many times, but with many women only once.

If one day, I can't continue breathing, it just means that my world lacks air, or you.

If confession is a kind of injury, I choose to lie. If a lie hurts, I choose silence.

Money is nothing in my hands, like garbage, but I use it to buy the most humble love.

4、每个抖腿的人，心里都有一台缝纫机。

22、我好像对纸过敏，每次做作业都难受。

When you get married later, I will move next door to your house and be a quiet old king.

Cow dung is cow dung after all. It will not turn into sweet baboon when steamed in a pot.

37、上学最开心的一句话就是：今天班主任不在。

The happiest thing in life is to listen to your wife in the morning and take your paws off!

3、记得小时候说得最多的一句话就是，我不跟你玩了。

8、成熟的最大好处是：以前得不到的，现在不想要了。

Once I wanted to leave everything to you, but I never wanted to leave my loneliness to myself.

52、下雨天不是在想你，是在想刚洗的衣裳什么时分干。

When it rains, it's not thinking about you. It's thinking about when the clothes just washed dry.

Today, I saw a beautiful woman in the street. When I approached her, it turned out to be a mirror.

Girls are precious, young women are more expensive, if there are rich women, they can be discarded.

Since the first time I picked up the pen that fell to the ground, I have never understood mathematics.

I remember one of the most frequently said words when I was a child is that I will not play with you.

Clearly, I can eat with my face, but I have to work hard. That's the difference between me and Clearly.

6、愚人节表白算什么，清明节表白才是王道，因为，如果失败了，你就说鬼附身了！

43、学霸晒成绩，女神晒自拍，土豪晒有钱，模特晒身材，老子放假回家晒太阳！

Great ups and downs make you see yourself clearly, and great ups and downs make you see your friends clearly.

It is said that when a girl is angry, just hold her down and kiss her, but why am I beaten by her boyfriend?

I'm so poor. Why do I get fat? I don't know how long the meat is. This problem has troubled me for many years.

I thought I was evil, but only when I met him did I realize that there was hardly anyone who was better than me.

April Fool's Day is nothing, Qingming Festival is the King's Way, because if you fail, you say ghosts possess you!

I just want you to accompany me and only laugh at me. I just want you to kiss me and only tease me. I will not give up.

Thank all the people who accompanied me to the present day, especially those who intend to accompany me to the next step.

The most painful thing in the world is that the teacher drags the class from holding up urine in class to the end of class.

I want to place my thoughts on the scattered stars. I hope the stars will shine through your window and sleep well with you.

Whether it's on wedding invitations or funeral tombstones, I hope I can always write your name together for the rest of my life.

Once, when I was squatting on the ground playing, my God patted me from behind, and then I was frightened and let out a loud fart.

Xueba sun achievement, goddess sun self-portrait, Tuhao sun money, model sun figure, Laozi go home on vacation to bask in the sunshine!

Boys always want to have a female secretary beside them. He has something to do with the Secretary and nothing to do with the secretary.

Rich people are afraid that others will know that he has money, and those who have no money will be afraid that others will know that he has no money.

On the way, I found a hundred yuan. I was very happy to invite my roommate to eat the whole family bucket. Finally, I found that the money was lost by myself.

48、都说女孩子生气时把她按住强吻就行了，可是，我为什么会被她男朋友打呢。