搞笑的英语名言

3、废话是人际关系的第一句！

6、英雄不问出路，流氓不看岁数。

22、不怕被人利用，就怕你没用！

23、别人的钱财乃我的身外之物！

28、要在江湖混，最好是光棍！

31、不是变化快，而是你太菜。

25、不要和我比懒，我懒得和你比。

4、帅有个屁用！到头来还不是被卒吃掉！

24、只要锄头舞的好，那有墙角挖不倒？

14、令人不能自拔的，除了牙齿还有爱情。

32、人生自古谁无死，哪个拉屎不用纸！

35、老娘法眼一开就知道你是个妖孽了。

26、真的猛士，敢于直面自己未化妆的脸。

29、我那么喜欢你，你喜欢我一下会死埃。

34、没有不透风的墙，没有不能上吊的梁。

8、没有钱，没有权，再不对你好点，你能跟我？

10、人如果靠吃饭活着，那饭不叫饭，叫饲料。

17、但两个人相遇，接下来的不是故事就是事故。

33、怀才就像怀孕，时间久了才能让人看出来。

2、我以为我很颓废，今天我才知道，原来我早报废了。

12、想污染一个地方有两种方法：垃圾，或是钞票！

19、英雄难过美人关，我不是英雄，美人让我过了关。

30、喝药递瓶，上吊给绳，跳楼的挥着小手绢送行。

11、你让我滚，我滚了。你让我回来，对不起，滚远了。

15、如果你借太多的钱给一个人，你会令此人变成坏人。

18、买了电脑不上宽带，就好比酒肉都准备好了却在吃饭前当了和尚。

It's not fast change, it's your dish.

It's so creative and courageous to live!

Other people's money is outside my body!

Don't be lazy with me. I'm lazy with you.

I am not RMB, how can I make everyone like me?

I like you so much. If you like me, you will die.

Don't talk to me about feelings. Feelings hurt money.

It's hard to pull it out, besides teeth, there's love.

As long as the hoe dances well, can't you dig a corner? （踏雪诗词 taxue.net）

God gives you a pair of wings, you should be burned red.

Really fierce man, dare to face his face without makeup.

Handsome has a fart! In the end, it wasn't eaten by pawns!

As a monster, my wish is to eliminate at least one Ottoman.

Don't be afraid of being used, just afraid you are useless!

Heroes don't ask for a way out, hooligans don't look at age.

No money, no power, no more hello to you, can you follow me?

There are two ways to contaminate a place: garbage or money!

Sometimes the killer of marriage is not an affair, but time.

Bullshit is the first sentence of interpersonal relationship!

I thought I was decadent. Today, I realized that I had scrapped.

There are no impervious walls, no beams that cannot be lifted.

Lao Niang knows you're a monster as soon as she opens her eyes.

You let me go, I rolled. You let me come back, I'm sorry, get away.

Only women and English are sad, but wives and jobs are hard to find.

From ancient times, who has not died, which shit does not need paper!

But when the two meet, the next thing is not the story or the accident.

Don't boast, please give back the bull, because the bull also needs sex!

It's better to be a bachelor if you want to mix in the lakes and rivers.

The hero is sorry for the beauty. I am not a hero. The beauty let me pass.

After studying for more than ten years, kindergarten is still a good mixer.

If a person lives by eating, that meal does not call for food, it is called feed.

Being pregnant is like being pregnant. It takes a long time for people to see it.

5、别跟我谈感情，谈感情伤钱。

If you lend too much money to a person, you will turn that person into a bad person.

16、长得真有创意，活得真有勇气！

20、婚姻的杀手有时不是外遇，而是时间。

1、我又不是人民币，怎么能让人人都喜欢我？

9、唯女人与英语难过也，唯老婆与工作难找也。

7、念了十几年书，想起来还是幼儿园比较好混！

21、天赐你一双翅膀，就应该被红烧…

13、作为一个怪兽，我的愿望是至少消灭一个奥特曼。

Drug delivery bottles, hanging ropes, jumping off the building waving handkerchiefs to see off.

Buying a computer without broadband is like being a monk before eating when all the meat and wine are ready.

27、不要吹牛逼、请把牛逼还给牛、因为牛也需要性生活！